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Because men have shorter lifespans, many older men are interested in having a potential caregiver or a “nurse with a purse.” They tend to marry quicker than older women, but it isn’t because older women can’t find a hubby; it’s because women are more likely to be looking for a short-term relationship or a companion, not a husband.
That isn’t true for my three girlfriends, but it’s true for me.
A recent study looked into why older women — in this case, women in their 60s and 70s — date. Some had lost satisfying relationships because the men wanted to get married but the women didn’t, sometimes because it would hurt them financially and sometimes because they didn’t want to have to care for anyone else anymore.
A few things became clear to the researchers early on — the women treasured their independence and craved companionship. In fact, many said they were not interesting in caretaking ever again — they’d been there and done that.
They desired companionship and a social life — and sex.
But they were not willing to compromise on losing their sense of freedom, to the point that they were “willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence.” I don’t want to be alone or lose my freedom — is it possible to have both without having to become a wife again?
Here’s what’s happened in the past year — two girlfriends have gotten engaged, and one has her condo on the market and is looking with her boyfriend to buy a new place and move in together. So, because of that and the fact that we live longer, she says, it’s worth putting the time and energy into looking for love regardless of your age.
They are all 50-something, empty-nesters and divorced. The difference between men and women at this age, however, is that we don’t necessarily want the same things.
Women are having to lower their ambitions for a man who meets the requirement of the “three highs” – a high level of education, a high salary and physical height – in potential husbands, while there are an alarming number of men who work in poorly paid jobs and have essentially given up hope of ever being able to afford a wife and family.
Growing numbers of ageing parents are therefore taking their children’s love lives into their own hands, sometimes with disastrous consequences.
“If that were true, they would be lowering their standards. In fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partner If anything, it’s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating.
In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren’t disadvantaged on the dating market.
“We’re perpetually fed a line that we’re looking for love in a market that doesn’t value us,” says Marina Adshade, an economics professor in Canada and author of . However, with the gray divorce boom, there are a lot more older people available than ever before.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating