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Before she dated Anne, she was hooking up a frat guy from NYU.

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I need to meet someone with air-conditioning, at least, and a doorman building.” “Have you thought about being single for a while? “When was the last time you weren’t dating someone?

” It was safe to assume Carly had some codependent tendencies.

The idea of being alone terrified me, so finding someone else was my relationship exit strategy.

Of course when I finally did leave, the guy I was interested in didn’t feel the same way.

“Robert Downey Jr.’s character plays Tony Stark, who is Iron Man. says, ‘If you’re nothing without the suit, you shouldn’t have the suit.’ ” “I don’t get it.” Carly sniffled between tears, looking at me with a blank expression. I knew she’d be full of regret the next morning, that we’d likely have an identical conversation over the next few days, and I was annoyed.

Spider-Man fucks something up and Tony threatens to take his suit away, which is a technologically tricked-out version of the famous costume. “If you think you’re nothing without a relationship, you shouldn’t be in a relationship—you’re using something outside of yourself to define yourself,” I said. It was Anne, she was stuck in a moment after having a little too much to drink. But that little voice piped up again—I had done the same thing in her situation many times myself.

A college girl, wearing a romper she most likely purchased at Forever 21, answered my knock. ” Carly emerged from a bedroom with mascara streaming down her face. Nothing like a trip to FIT to feel old and unstylish. “She threw out my bottle of Jaeger and said we had to have sex sober.

I told her I can only make out with her when I’m drunk.” I chose my response carefully. She’s cancelling my membership,” she said through her tears. ” “I can’t afford to buy my own Louis Vuitton.” “Have you seen the movie ? Considering she had barely entered elementary school when the movie was released, of course she hadn’t.

Years ago, when I was in one of my first adult relationships, I wanted out, but I had set myself some conditions for making the break.

I only wanted to leave if I fell for another guy I thought would be willing to take over.

These were experiences I could now share with others, and in retelling them, I learned to laugh at myself, which helped me find a way to take some of the sting out of difficult situations. “Anne and I blocked each others phone numbers, and she gave me the Louis Vuitton bag I loved borrowing so much.” she’s keeping me on her gym membership for one more month, as long as I never call her again.” “Oh,” I said. I think the best deal I got from an ex was finding a good accountant.” “I have a date next week with a trainer from Equinox! “He’s so hot…” As Carly trailed on about her new flavor of the week, I began to zone out.

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