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Red alert, I called my sister and she told me how to check a cell phone. I checked his phone when he got home, and there were three messages from other woman, one a stripper.

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I found his secret password to open documents and read his letters to and from the other women, listing details of their activities.

One woman I contacted and she filled me in, horrified because he told her we were in a bad marriage and so on…..

He told everyone this, even my parents and son, all my (our)friends.

A friend called me to tell me he was married with three kids a year later when she found out.

We went to church every Sunday and were very involved, his insistence. I called him a rooster, my therapist (after I found all this and everything crumbled) told me the official therapy term is a peacock.

We played this perfect family, but I wasn’t playing, I worked and loved hard. He has to have admiration of others, and women are easy. He also has no regard for others (empathy) and no qualms at all lying and looking you straight in the eyes, daily, even with proof in your hands. He uses people for his own gratification, not one person means anything to him except for how they can make him feel. When I kept finding more and more concrete proof and he could no longer lie, he got violent because he was discovered and I required he get help, that was the only way I would consider not filing for divorce.

He hit and pushed and lost it instead, he blamed, he belittled me, he did the most cruel things to me to try and bait me so he could blame me…actually tried several times to force me to react, so he could make me the cause of divorce, so he could even have me jailed.

He even forced a knife in my hand once and tried to stab himself, with my hand, so he could claim I was trying to stab him….I was so stupid and trusting and hoped and prayed and met with his therapists….everything….he never felt remorse, actually only cried when thought about how what all he had done said about him.

I found these degrading emails about me when I went on the search for truth after the phone call (when he meant to call the other woman) he made to me by mistake 4 years ago.

I made the mistake of always asking him what was going on when I found things…always lied.

Until next time be good, stay off the chems and do not talk over me.

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