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D., author of feel about the fact that he invited your mother-in-law to stay for an entire week without even asking — then you create a pattern of refusing to be emotionally honest, Johnson explains.

That automatically shuts off the possibility for him to understand, support, and potentially correct the problem with you — and instead tips the relationship into even more distress and distance that could ultimately derail a marriage.

In fact, "marriages in which men don't accept influence from their wives are at a much higher risk for divorce," says Diane Gehart, professor of marriage and family therapy at California State University, Northridge.

Research from the Gottman Institute even found that when men the ones to struggle in this department doesn't mean the ladies get off scot-free.

"When people shut down during conflict, it's usually because their heart rates have skyrocketed to over 100 beats per minute, which throws you into fight or flight response," she says.

"When that happens, you lose access to the part of your brain — the frontal lobe — that gives you communication skills.

"If long-standing issues remain unresolved, resentments will carry forward into the present day and future." According to Winter, getting professional help to get to the bottom of the issues the relationship becomes too weak to sustain itself might be your best bet.

And, of course showing a little love whenever possible: "Small, consistent gestures of kindness, praise, and appreciation have been shown to create the balm that heals past injuries," she said. That validation creates a circular resonance that fuels the relationship's love and harmony." obsession — is a red flag that, surprisingly, is pretty common, says Cole. "Women may fall into this habit if they're surrounded by people doing the same thing," she says.Whether you're remembering how hilarious your ex was — unlike your comparatively quiet husband — or wishing your guy was a door-opening gentleman like your friend's husband, negatively comparing your spouse to others is another subtle kiss of death."Even if you're only making notes in your mind, it can kill a relationship over time," says Cole.Uh-oh: Your (seemingly innocent) daily habits — like scrolling through Insta in bed — could be destroying your marriage."Research shows that there are a lot of little things people do that can indicate serious problems in relationships," says Carrie Cole, a couples therapist and certified Gottman master trainer at the Center for Relationship Wellness in Houston. Even if you're having problems now, it doesn't mean you're headed for divorce.And if he's not being real with you — and only hearing your anger or irritation — then what's the point?

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