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Even though my sex life is the best it has ever been, it’s more important to me that I’ve figured out how define my feminism for myself.

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In fact, I respect myself more than I ever did for knowing exactly what pleases me and not being afraid to ask for it.

It took me far too many years to realize that it wasn’t very feminist of me to police my own sexuality, to label it “good for feminism” or “bad for feminism.” It is what it is!

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I’d known Charles for years, so he knew about my feminist activism and the writing I do about women’s issues.

Once Charles learned about my dom/sub fetish, he knew—and respected—how conflicted I felt.

Charles wanted to spank a woman as badly as I wanted to be spanked, and had a girlfriend. No, we were selfish: Charles cheated on his girlfriend with me.

But those few weeks were sexually charged, passionate and wonderful. No, I kept telling her: I wasn’t hit as a kid, I was never abused by my parents, I’ve never dated an abusive man, and I’d never hit my own kids.

And I was, by a few different guys who, to varying degrees, were down with giving me spankings.

But I still felt kind of ashamed because they themselves didn’t enjoy it, but they spanked me anyway because they knew it made me happy.

In the years to come, I got some playful spankings, during which I was always twisting, giggling, and trying to get out of it.

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