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If you want to live a big, bold, creative life, one of the first orders of business is learning how to deal with criticism.The more you step out into the spotlight, whether literally or figuratively, the more attention and feedback you’re going to get, and not all of it will be positive. Here are five tools that will help you grow a thicker skin.

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It’s not always easy to practice neutrality, but the more we can shift our mindset to look for the lesson beneath the venom, the more even negative comments can be useful to us, and even empower and fuel us to keep going and make our work better. TED speaker and best-selling author Brené Brown has received comments on her videos such as, “If I looked like Brené Brown, I’d embrace imperfection too.” This kind of insult has nothing to do with the work in question.

It’s designed to hurt, not to help, and it has nothing useful to offer.

Somehow I got a message as a very young child that I was selfish.

Then, in my first marriage, whenever I wasn’t able to meet my husband’s needs, he declared that I was selfish.

And how do you figure out how a person feels about you — or tell them how you feel about them — without either of you feeling uncomfortable?

Dating is a tricky business, but here are some guidelines that'll keep you successful and in the mix!

I suck.” The fact that I didn’t make a sale doesn’t actually tell me anything about me or my work, however.

All I really know is that this particular offer wasn’t compelling to this particular audience at this particular moment.

I was scared to hear his critiques, until he assured me, “I’m simply going to tell you how you can make your work better.” Suddenly, instead of being terrified of his feedback, I was hungry for it.

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