cashdating ru - Validating self

Now, I know that some of you are already skeptical about a term like "self-compassion." But this is a scientific, data-driven argument -- not feel-good pop psychology. Self-compassion is a willingness to look at your own mistakes and shortcomings with kindness and understanding -- it's embracing the fact that to err is indeed human.

How can you learn how to do things right when it's killing you to admit -- even to yourself -- that you've done them wrong?

Here's an unavoidable truth: You are going to screw up.

When your focus is instead on protecting your self-esteem, you can't afford to really look at yourself honestly.

You can't acknowledge the need for improvement, because it means acknowledging weaknesses and shortcomings -- threats to self-esteem that create feelings of anxiety and depression.

This increased motivation lead to demonstrably superior performance.

For instance, in one study, participants who failed an initial test were given a second chance to improve their scores.And though people with high self-esteem do they're more successful, objectively, they are not.High self-esteem does not make you a more effective leader, a more appealing lover, more likely to lead a healthy lifestyle, or more attractive and compelling in an interview.If you look under the "Self-Help" heading on Amazon, you'll find roughly 5,000 books listed under the sub-head "Self-Esteem." The vast majority of these books aim to not only tell you why your self-esteem might be low, but to show you how to get your hands on some more of it.It's a thriving business because self-esteem is, at least in Western cultures, considered the bedrock of individual success.For example, when asked to reflect on a personal weakness, some were asked to "imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a compassionate and understanding perspective. " Others were asked to instead focus on boosting their self-esteem: "Imagine that you are talking to yourself about this weakness from a perspective of validating your positive qualities. " People who experienced self-compassion were more likely to see their weaknesses as changeable.

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